Thursday, December 31, 2009

Epiphanies

Maybe it's because I'm approaching 30. Perhaps it's because this year has been particularly challenging (to say the least), and in turn, have learned so much about myself, God's faithfulness, and true love. Or, possibly I'm just so intrigued and inspired that the excess thoughts have overflowed in to an online pseudo-diary to be shared. Whatever the reason, welcome to my blog.
For the past few years, I've checked in on some friends blogs about their pregnancies and then their babies, and immediately put it on my "when I get pregnant" list of to-dos (kinda like when you walk past the baby aisle at the grocery and wonder when you'll ever get to shop there.) Of all the items on said list, the 'baby blog' was the thing I looked forward to the most. Now before anyone goes and gets excited, I'm NOT pregnant - although your prayers for such would be appreciated - but rather after further introspection on the topic of blogging, I suddenly realized I didn't have to wait to be pregnant to have a blog. It's not like some unsaid rite of passage that one must have some exciting news or life-altering event in order to be allowed to blog. However, the truth is, Michael and I have been through some pretty life-altering changes that are certainly worthy of citing to those who care to read it. I hope to make my blog a happy place: a funny, random, veritable collection of thoughts that someone other than myself can possibly find interesting or entertaining - sans bun in the oven. Besides, I thought it might be a good idea to get people used to the idea that I have a blog and allow them to make it a part of their internet cruising routine so that when news DOES happen, they'll be the first to know. Justification achieved.

Aside from my love of writing, I also have been inspired to start a blog thanks to the movie "Julie and Julia." I didn't really think I would like this movie as I have have no real attachment to cooking (baking is my forte, not cooking) and I can't recall ever having watched Julia Child's cooking show. I just knew she was the tall, strange-talking Paula Deen of her day. Why would I want to spend 2 hours watching a movie about something that I really couldn't relate to? Well, the other night as Michael and I were perusing the OnDemand options, the trailer for this movie came on. I watched as the story unfolded a bit when it became clear that the movie wasn't solely about Julia Child, but also this Julie person who has written a book about her own blog project and I realized just how much I related to this character and story. I don't want to review the whole movie here, but just a little insight: Amy Adams' character Julie is a smart, attractive almost 30-year-old struggling to find her place in the world as her uber-successful friends seem to have it all handed to them on a silver platter and she's left wondering what she did wrong and why she's been dealt the hand she holds. Uh, YEAH, I can relate. I couldn't get more than a few minutes into a scene until I was in hysterics laughing at how I've experienced so many of the very things she's talking about. With every step she takes, there are two pitfalls to match it. With every brilliant idea she has, someone else either slaps a "been there, done that" cliche on it or has thought it better. But what really got me is when she deems that she must set a deadline because she never finishes anything - WOW. With the exception of graduating from college (which was like dragging a dead cow through molasses) I, too, have truly never finished anything. I have 12 totes of craft crap that I have lugged to at least 5 different residences in the last 10 years simply because "I'm going to finish all those scrapbooks one day" and will still need every last bit of scrapbooking paraphernalia in order to do it. I certainly wouldn't want to have to purchase all that stuff again when I did finally find time to complete those books, much less be able to afford it all again. Then there's all the crafts I'm going to complete for gifts: hand-made ornament makings, pillow making supplies, cross-stitching garb...the list is endless. And now, most recently I'm harboring 5 or 6 boxes of Uppercase Living mess that is intended for running this at-home sales business. Yeah right. Like that's what I want to do when I get home - run a business. It sounds good and all of these things factor into my ideal of a woman who does it all and has it all together, but reality sometimes just doesn't cooperate. Maybe if I wasn't a neat/clean freak or if I didn't watch TV EVER, I could devote my time to finishing a project once I start it. Who knows. To say the least, I was so comforted to know that there really is someone out there (probably LOTS of somebodies out there) who think that by hanging on for dear life to something that isn't finished means it's still in progress. Not so much. Thank you Julie for revealing so much about myself through your book, and now this movie. I'm now plotting deadlines for all unfinished projects and planning for what I'll do with all the closet space I'm going to gain...
Luckily this blog is an ongoing project that doesn't need a deadline - I just hope it doesn't turn out like the journal you get in fifth grade and purpose to 'write in it every day' and after about a week, it's never touched again. (I have a lot of those I'm hanging on to as well.) Regardless, I hope to consistently add posts whenever something intrigues me, whether people want to read it or not. "I have thoughts." That's all I need.

The End

My incessant need for closure has led me to post a final farewell to this blog. Blogging was a whole new concept for me when I logged on l...